Deployment Diary - Month One

The night before you left, we curled up on the couch for a long family cuddle. Sadness was in our hearts, tears in our eyes, and fear of the unknown on our minds, but we curled in tight together, and smiled at the camera. I look at this photo often, and think of why we chose to smile that night. Maybe it was so we could look back and remember being happy, maybe it was because thats just what you do for a picture...but I look at that picture every day as inspiration to smile while you're gone.

This month has been hard. It's been 4 weeks of trying to figure out how to function missing a quarter of our foursome. There's been tears, anger, tummy aches, and frustration. Murphy's law rules our home with broken down equipment, ER visits, wasp infestations, things we never thought of needing to be dealt with. Nights are long and often sleepless. We're tired, and lonely, and sad....but we're still smiling.

Your 4 year old is taking her role of family comedian very seriously. She misses you terribly, and sees that we do too. In a heavy moment, she'll take a deep breath, flash her gorgeous smile, laugh her infections giggle, start to walk like a penguin and invite us to join her in a moment of happiness. Our "baby" knows that laughter is truly medicine for the soul, and so she smiles.









Our sweet and sensitive 5 year old got her world rocked when you left. She carries a heavy load that she's not sure how to deal with, but welcomes the opportunity to make others smile. She's my little helper. Always asking what she can do, how she can help. And when I give her a task...any way to feel needed or appreciated....she smiles.








And me....I'm exhausted. It's hard trying to fill your shoes. I'm dealing with 3 lonely hearts, an acre's worth of house and yard chores, end of year schedules, and illness.  But thankfully I have plenty of reason to smile. I get to watch our daughter's best qualities emerge from their stress and sadness....two girls who want nothing more than to make someone else feel better. Our little military brats already know the value of service. My heart is full of pride. I have a powerful support...friends who know me well enough not to ask if theres anything they can do (because they know I'll say no) and have gone way above and beyond to make us all feel loved and taken care of. And so, I smile.

 The biggest challenge of this month has been learning the dichotomy of the sadness in feeling such a loss, and a need and desire to put a smile on our faces. I'm learning that a genuine smile and heartache can coexist. We're making a conscious effort to choose to smile every day. And for making it through the first month of deployment, I'd say we deserve it!  We miss you! Sending you all of our love and smiles.  1 down, 5 to go!